


The Charles Entertainment Cheese Fic

by bluereadingdolphin



Category: Kaleidotrope (Podcast)
Genre: Chuck E. Cheese's, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluereadingdolphin/pseuds/bluereadingdolphin
Summary: Nope, I'm not adding more tags this dumpster fire doesn't deserve them. Also I tried to keep the ugly fonts, it's part of the experience, but ao3 said No.This was born out of a 1am discord call about Chuck E Cheese and I wrote it in a delirious haze late at nightI'm sorry in advance
Relationships: Drew/Harrison (Kaleidotrope)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	The Charles Entertainment Cheese Fic

Drew Entertainment Cheese, the grey squirrel, had never known a life outside of the small orphanage he grew up in, nestled in a small town in the south west of England. He was isolated, for the most part, unable to celebrate many holidays and least of all his birthday. For the thing was, nobody knew when his birthday was, so he couldn’t celebrate it. It was regrettable, but he forged on without that yearly celebration children love so much. 

Drew had two main talents - writing and singing, and he also combined these skills to become an accomplished slam poet. He would practice them late at night in the orphanage, until he was the best he could possibly be. One day, he saw a leaflet for a six word story competition in the mailbox for the orphanage, and he took it quickly so that he could look at it closer.    
Drew poured his heart and soul into the writing piece, and he won the competition. His win afforded him £50 and a waterbus ticket to New York, and he flew out on the first chance he got. When he arrived, his £50 was very clearly not going to last him long enough, so he looked out for a place where he could stay. He did not understand how he could be jobbed so he didn’t go for that, and instead he located a local pizzeria. There was a loft space above, and when everyone had left for the night, he snuck in and started to build his home there. 

Harrison Ford was an NYU grad, who lived deep within Kombucha Brooklyn. He was a sociology student, who had recently graduated but was still looking for a job that would allow his passion to flourish. One day, he was on his way to where he worked (which was at the pet shop, feeding crickets to lizards for eight hours daily), and he sat down on the subway. He hated his job, and dreaded the day that one of the lizards would bite his fingers off. The fare had been way too much, and taking the subway every day was really cutting into what little money he was making. It was so expensive now, and really it should be free. Harrison  hated  the fare. As he settled into his seat, he began his daily ritual of studying the people on the train. He made notes about what they were doing and who they were talking to, as he did every day, and he was building up an interesting study on the people who commuted to work on his train every day. 

As he stood up to leave, a card stuck in the frame of a different advertisement caught his eye. It was pizza slice shaped, printed with only a neon pizza and the phrase “I need you to job me” written in neon colours. A phone number was printed on the back. He picked it up, and headed out towards his job. 

When he called the number, the owner of the restaurant - Hal - set him up with a job interview. She said he sounded good over the phone, but she would need to see him in person in order to make sure that he was what she was looking for in her singing restaurant. When he got to the interview, however, she wasn’t sure.

“I’m sorry Harrison, I’m not sure if you’re quite right for this job. I understand that you’re in a tough spot, but there’s nothing I can do for you.”    
“Give me one more chance. I can prove myself to you.” Harrison asked, and Hal sighed.    
“Okay, fine.” She responded. As soon as she said this, Harrison started to sing. It was the most beautiful singing she had ever heard, and it brought a tear to her eye. 

“Harrison, that was amazing. You’re jobbed, you start work here at nine am tomorrow.”

“Thank you, thank you Hal. I really appreciate it. I won ‘t let you down.” 

Harrison took the subway back home (still internally grumbling about the fare being so much), and quit at the pet shop he hated so much. His home was small, an apartment in a loft with five other roommates - he needed that many so he could pay the rent. 

Drew had spent a few weeks living in the pizzeria, hiding upstairs during the day and eating leftover pizzas during the night. One day, when he thought everyone had left, he snuck downstairs to get his food for the day. However, he hadn't realised that there was still someone in the pizzeria. Harrison was sweeping up the kitchen when Drew came in, and when they saw each other they both froze. 

"A chipmunk!" Harrison cried. Drew was paralyzed with fear, until Harrison grabbed a rolling pin off the nearby counter and started walking forwards with it, as though he would hit Drew with it. Drew's knees were knocking, and the only thing he could think to do was recite some of the slam poetry he had been working on. 

" Yo, my name is Drew

I am real cool

Please don't put me in the loo "

Harrison dropped the rolling pin in shock, as he heard this small squirrel recite this amazing poetry. At this distraction, Drew ran away to the loft. Harrison blinked, and he was gone, so he went back to sweeping - assuming that his tired mind had conjured the image of a slam poetry reciting squirrel out of nothing.

Harrison's dreams were plagued with visions of the rapping squirrel that night. When he woke up for the third time in the night, he decided to call Hal and let her know what had happened.

"Harrison, what possible reason could you have for calling me at three in the morning. This better be good."

"I saw a rapping squirrel in the pizzeria this evening."

"I'm sorry, you're going to need to run that one by me again."

"I was cleaning up the kitchen, and then I saw a squirrel. I picked up a rolling pin to hit it with because I panicked, and it started to do slam poetry randomly? I thought I just made it up but I keep dreaming about it so I think it's a real thing."

"Have you been drinking?"

"No? No, I've not been drinking."

"Okay. We should check that...in the morning. I suppose."

"Yeah." Harrison hung up the phone, and sat down on the bed. 

The next morning, the whole pizzeria was turned on its head in an attempt to find this rapping squirrel. They found him eventually, huddled up in a corner of the loft. He was taken out, grabbed by the scruff of his neck and placed on the service counter. 

"So. You're a talking squirrel?" Hal stood in front of him, arms folded and a confused expression on her face. 

"I am. Please don't put me in the loo."

"I...don't think I'm going to? Can you explain why you're here, at least?"

"I came to New York and I only had fifty pounds. I couldn't convert the money because I can't reach the machines, so I didn't have any money. Your pizzeria was so warm and inviting, so I came in here. I really didn't mean to stay as long as I did, or to scare the pretty sweeping-person."

"How long have you been here?"

"About two weeks, I think. I'm not great at keeping track of time though."

"Right. Well, I don't have much of an issue with you staying up there necessarily, but I think you should do something in order to earn your keep."

"I can write! That's how I got here, I won a writing competition. Also I sing, and I sometimes do slam poetry as…"

"Harrison." Hal fills in.

"As Harrison heard"

"Well, I can't have you walking the floor and waiting tables because...well, you're a squirrel. But I think we could set up something where you have a microphone and a speaker system which you can use to talk into."

So Drew became a permanent fixture at Hal's pizzeria. The customers loved him, and many asked for him to show his face (which he never did). The business started to do better and better. However, this meant that the other people who worked there became tired and overworked. One day, after a particularly tiring shift, Harrison sat in the back of the building and cried. His dream was still to become a sociologist, but he couldn't take time off to look for jobs because he was so busy at the pizzeria. His coworker, Lovejoy, had been sick and their replacement, Stanwyck, wasn't able to make it in so he'd had to run a double shift. 

This is where Drew found him, and sat down next to him.

"Are you okay, Harrison?"

"'M fine. Or I will be fine."

"You don't seem fine, if I'm being honest."

"It's just - it's too much, Drew. I'm so tired all the time and I can't take time to chase the dreams I really hold. I don't suppose you'd know anything about that though, you just showed up here and got a job immediately." Harrison sighs bitterly, and Drew attempts to wrap a squirrely arm around him. 

"It's not always been easy for me. I'm an orphan, I don't know if I've told you this. I never had a birthday growing up, and I thought I'd be stuck in the orphanage forever. But here I am now, and I have a job which I love. It'll get better someday, I promise. It did for me."

"Yeah. That...make sense. Thank you, Drew." Harrison gives Drew a proper hug, wrapping him up in his arms. As he does this, he feels Drew's body change beneath him. When he opens his eyes, Drew is taller, much taller than Harrison. He's grown to be almost seven feet tall, and he wraps his arms around Harrison in return.

"You're welcome" he said, as the sun set behind them, and they finally shared a kiss. 

Drew has a birthday, after that day. He chose one for himself, the day that he first met Harrisonand started working at the pizzeria. He found his family on that day, and from then on he celebrated it every year.


End file.
